"...somewhere out there lies a truth to be found.. only where when and by whom..."
where once i believe, now i only pray
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
when habits become nature. that's when u know things may be slowly changing.
5/04/2005 02:42:00 AM
Monday, April 25, 2005
hey... i read your comments n it made me feel quite silly.. i know what u mean dude.. and i guess i'm also glad u ain't here to see me.. but i think it's a phase im moving away from.. or at least i feel that way... n oh my god..how come u still come here.. sometimes i dread coming here too.. haha.. eh i must meet up w/ you man! oh yea i got my IRAS scholarship..PLS ADVISE ME WHICH TO TAKE... i know u think both DSTA n IRAS sucks but im sure one sucks less right? hahaha... oh btw im almost confirm going to USA.. and i WANT TO MEET U!!.. but i duno how to go abt getting e internal flights n stuff.. need ur help on that ok? anyway im giving tuition now.. two tuitions actually.. and i set up tuition agency too.. EARN $$$$... haha.. but e most i will be earning will be from you when u FAIL YOUR BET! haha.. u've been clubbing?! n drinking?! haha.. see.. not only u dont wana see me lidat..i also dont wana see u lidat wad.. BI CI BI CI...=P
4/25/2005 07:40:00 PM
Friday, April 22, 2005
i really hope i have not made u love less... u used to amaze me and total take my breath away with how easy u let ur love show.. maybe im wrong abt u now but u dont seem like that anymore.. i guess it is mostly because of how anal i am but u seem rather reserved with ur love and ur feelings now... we always quarrel and u always 'win' i guess cos im quite unreasonable.. and u are so rational.. even with ur love...
4/22/2005 08:26:00 AM
let's be normal. is that it? is that what u want? but i dont feel i'm ready yet to give up. maybe there's really some1 who can live my imagination with me. maybe i am silly but let me be silly this once more. i'm already on the verge of giving up, just dont push me further. i dont want to short change u, but more than not, i dont want to short change myself. if u can see through my eyes and share my dreams, then maybe i wont be as irritating or destructive or troublesome as u think i am now. maybe.
Friday, March 18, 2005
something abt how the jay chou CD wanyuan burnt for me always makes me feel especially dreamy. not tt i shdnt be. now's only 7 plus in the morning. sometimes u wake up in the morning feeling nice and lazy. but other times u really hafta wake up preparing for battle on the day. n today is one such day. all e tuitions, all the pleasantries. days like these, u must really try to find little things to spur u on. in OCS, in army actually, the reason was always always you. guess that's what made me so volatile. try thinking of nothing but one person. u'll get obsessed too. today's terence however, will be spurred on by his V-cut! his 6230! that will be my mission for today. and of cos to try my luck at being a successful teacher. my one resolution for this yr, As for both my students, one of which i dont even know the name yet. *hah*
i realise blogging has a kind of calming effect on me. i guess everytime i can fully open up, i will be calmed. there's this emptiness. but dont get me wrong. i love this feeling. stable. rational. comforted. guys need tt too trust me.
3/18/2005 03:19:00 PM
sometimes u catch yourself wondering why. and then u start feeling confused all over again. i miss my friends. i miss being able to tell you everything and anything. nowadays it feels like everything is a loaded qn, a loaded answer. i guess sometimes getting too involved in some1 makes it harder for there to be openess btw the two. being close and being involved is v different. i miss my close friends. i've nv been in this situation before. begging for people's attention. begging for them to come back. sometimes i feel lonely and i know exactly why but i cant do anything abt it. just hope tt somehow someone out there hears my silent cry for help. i fear we can nv truly run away from being an individual. our own individual. sorry dear. dont pout. it was always a fairytale. worse still, i wonder if the friends who have left me have changed too, and i'm only holding on to them in my imagination preserving them as they were. pls stay the same yuting. pls stay the same jh. otherwise what little left of everything will truly be gone. no magic. stupid terence.
3/18/2005 06:45:00 AM
Thursday, November 11, 2004
im just too imposing...
take a step back?
or is everything jus one big mistake.. sometimes it really feels tt way..jus tt its too hurtful to tell u
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
i had a horrible dream.. it felt so empty yet so real.. yet i was so calm.. i duno why... e moment i woke up i still had some lingering feelings.. was it real? dreams r so extreme.. who creates them? many pple say its the subconscious mind of the dreamer himself but i much rather like to attribute it to the dream weaver.. sounds more romantic tt way.. a person responsible for all the dreams in this world... delivering them like postcards to everyone of us... sometimes to remind us of the past..sometimes to tell us wad e future beckons or mabbe to teach us smtg.. but always for a reason...
